


Lonely

by Lover496



Series: Polyamorous Demons [3]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Beel just trying to help, Depression, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Jealousy, Multi, No Comfort Yet, Self-Harm, fight between brothers, trigger warning, trigger warning: self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29030301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lover496/pseuds/Lover496
Summary: Lucifer is spending a lot of time with his new boyfriend, making up for lost time. MC feels herself getting lonlier and wonders why she should suffer through this.Trigger-warning: Do not read when you get triggered by depictions of depression or self-harm!
Relationships: Beelzebub & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo/Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo/Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer & Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Series: Polyamorous Demons [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123028
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Once again:  
> Trigger-warning: Do not read when you get triggered by depictions of depression or self-harm!

>Hey. Are you busy? I was thinking we could maybe play some chess while listening to one of your cursed vinyls?<

She wasn’t actually very keen to play chess against Lucifer. She usually lost and it got rather frustrating rather quickly. But they hadn’t had a date or even a moment with just the two of them in weeks. At best they had done something with Diavolo. Not that she minded, she really liked him and their group dates were usually fun. But that didn’t change that she sometimes wanted Lucifer just for herself. She knew that Diavolo felt the same – the difference being that he actually got to spend alonetime with Lucifer. 

>I’m sorry, but I’m busy right now. Diavolo invited me to dinner and afterwise we’ll go to The Fall. Maybe we could meet there?<

Of course he was with Diavolo. She couldn’t blame him – he had spent centuries surpressing his feelings fort he Demon Lord. Of course he would want to make up for lost time now. But it felt like he forgot about her in the process.

She took a deep breath. ‚Don’t be jealous. Once he’ll get used to this new situation, he’ll make more time for you again.‘ None the less, she wasn’t in the mood to see him anymore.

>Sorry, I’ll pass. I’m not in the mood to go out today.<

She put her D.D.D. on her nightstand. But she found herself unmotivated to do anything. So she just laid on her bed, starring at the ceiling and got all worked up with thoughts about Lucifer and Diavolo. Which made her loath herself increasingly. Because she hated to feel so jealous, especially since there was no reason to.

LDMCLDMCLDMCLDMCLDMC

The weeks passed and nothing changed much. Except her mood. Her moments of happiness kept decreasing rapidly. Apart from the fact that Lucifer never seemed to want any alonetime with her, she also started to miss Satan’s company. Since she had discovered her love for him she kept avoiding him whenever possible. It only made her sad to know that she could never be with him and she couldn’t bear how sweet he was, almost as if her feelings were reciprocated – it just hurt all the more.

One evening, when her feelings overwhelmed her again, as they had so often lately, she found herself thinking. ‚Why? Why do I have to keep suffering through it? Maybe … maybe I should just end my pain.‘ It seemed so simple to her. A heart that’s not beating cannot ache. And somehow she found herself with a knife in her hand.

It was surprisingly calm. Somehow, she found it crazy that her hand could be so staidy, holding the thing that would kill her. She had pulled back her sleeve and the cold tip of the knife touched her skin. Just before she could make the move that would end her life, there was a knock at her door.

Panicking, she cramed the knife under her pillow and pulled down her sleeve. „Yes?“ The door was opened and there stood Beel. „Hi. Can I come in?“

„Yeah. Sure.“

He closed the door and sat down next to her. „I brought you some pudding. I noticed how little you smiled lately and I thought it might cheer you up.“ She put on a sad little smile. „Thanks Beel, but I’m not hungry“ she said in a small voice. He pulled up a brow. 

„Are you sure?“ 

„Yeah. You go ahead and eat it.“

He looked from her face tot he pudding and back to her face. „I’ll just leave it here on your nightstand. In case you get hungry later.“ He stood up to place her dessert on the small table. Then he gave her a small kiss on her temple and left.

She never ate the pudding.

BMCBMCBMCBMCBMCBMCBMC

A week later Satan found her. She lay in her bed, blood streaming from her arm on the sheets. She was sobbing quietly, so she hadn’t heard him come in. Until he gasped in shock, of course. „MC! What happened?“ He sat down next to hear, carefully grabbed her arm and firmly pressed down her sheet on it to stop the bleeding. He knew it wouldn’t last very long, that the wound needed to be properly fixed. But when he caught a glance of the blade in her other hand he froze for a moment. „You did that to yourself?!“ He was mad, more than he had ever been, but above everything else he was scared. Scared for her health, scared for her life.

When the shock had worn off a bit he lifted her up to carry her down to the living room. He knew there was an emergency kit there.

He put her down on the couch, not giving a damn if cushions got ruined, leaving her side just to get the dressing. Five minutes later, her wounds were cleaned and bandaged. She had not been able to take her eyes away from him but she had not been able to say anything either. She felt that there were still tears at the corner of her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment.

When he was sure that his job was done adequately he looked into her eyes. His voice was surprisingly calm. „Why?“ He didn’t say anything else. He just kept looking into her eyes. Finally, she felt her tears tumbling down. She broke the eye contact, crooked her legs and laid her forehead on her knees. For a moment there was nothing but sobs. Then she felt like she could finally answer him. At least partially.

„It’s nothing. Not really. Just … I know it’s stupid … but Lucifer spends so much time with Diavolo lately … I just couldn’t bare the loneliness anymore …“ 

She couldn’t bring herself to say anything else, even if that was just half the reason. Satan just hugged her tightly and so they sat there.

SMCSMCSMCSMCSMCSMCSMCSMCSMC

About an hour later Lucifer came home. When he found the two of them seemingly cuddling on the couch, he froze. „What do you think you’re doing?“ His voice was cold as ice. Satan’s blood was immediatly boiling. „What are WE doing? You should rather ask yourself what YOU did! Considering MC was about to kill herself earlier!“ He had stood up from the couch and was now standing in front of Lucifer, his emerald eyes starring daggers in Lucifer’s ruby ones.

Lucifer immediatly put his attention on her. „You did what?“ She could hear the consern in his voice, but he was mostly surprised. Which Satan caught up on and said: „Yes, you would be startled, wouldn’t you? Given how much you neglected her that’s not very surprising. I’d say go to hell but since you’re already there, I guess I’ll have to think of a better punishment.“

„Don’t you dare threatening me.“ 

„Or what?“

„Or you’ll regret it.“

Within the blink of an eye Satan was in his demon form, his hands around Lucifer’s throat. Just a second later Lucifer was in his demon form as well, fighting back. It was hard for her to follow exactly what happened because they were both rather fast. She did notice however that they seemed to be throwing curses at each other, because every time one of them missed, they hit the wall or a portrait, a vase was knocked over and one of them managed to set one of the seats at the breakfast table on fire. That’s when she finally stood up as well.

She tried to throw herself between the two brothers, which was harder than it sounded, given that they were moving at their supernatural speed and clinging on each others throats with their demonic strength. She had managed to get one of Satan’s hands away from Lucifer’s throat but he just used it instead to tear feathers from his older brother’s black wings. He responded by using some sort of heat spell that made blisters appear whereever his hands touched Satan. Which at the moment was, concerningly, on his throat. 

„STOP IT!“ she cried out. „I can’t have the men I love most murder each other.“ Finally they seemed to notice her and not a moment to late, because as they turned their eyes on her everything went black and she collapsed.

LSMCLSMCLSMCLSMCLSMCLSMCLSMC

When she woke up again, the two demons hovered over her. She felt herself laying on someting soft and realized they had put her in her bed. They had also changed the sheets, since there was no blood on them anymore. 

She sat up. „What happened?“ 

„You were unconscious“ Lucifer said softly.

„Probably because of you bloodloss and the stress of trying to stop two demons from fighting“ Satan added, blushing because of the guilt he felt over his childish behaviour. He should have thought about her health first.

She suddenly remembered the cuts on her forearm and looked away uncomfortably. Lucifer knew what she was thinking. „Satan told me what happened. Why didn’t you say anything?“ She couldn’t look at him. Once again, tears were in her eyes. „I felt so stupid“ she said in a small voice. „I know you just wanted to spend some time with Diavolo. And after all, I was okay with your relationship. And I am. But it just felt…“ That last words were barely audible. „… like you didn’t need me anymore to be happy.“

Tears were streaming down her face and he gently swiped them away with his thumb. Then he lifted her chin so she’d look him in the eyes. „I will always need you.“ She could see that he was looking for proof in her eyes that she had understood. That she knew he meant it. But while she could hear the sincereness in his voice she found it hard to believe. Hard to believe that anyone could need a mess like her, let alone to be happy. 

When he realized that she couldn’t believe him, the hurt was visible on his face. But unlike usually he didn’t try to hide it. Which made her heart twist in return. „You should probably get some rest.“ He gave her a kiss on her palm, then turned to Satan, expecting him to leave as well. „Just give us a moment“ he said, not taking his shining green eyes away from MC. Lucifer’s jaw clenched, but he nodded once and then left the room.

MC looked after him until her door was closed again, then she turned to Satan. „I don’t want to bother you for too long. He’s right, you need some sleep. But I have a question. When you tried to stop us from fighting you said ‚I can’t have the men I love most murder each other‘. But if you love me, then why didn’t you tell me? Why did you isolate yourself from me for months?“ 

She could see that he tried very hard to control his emotions. Hurt. Confusion. Even some anger. She swallowed. „I knew you wouldn’t share me. Not with Lucifer. So I thought it would be less hurtfull for me to just stay away from you. I didn’t think you’d love me back anyway. I’m sorry if I hurt you.“ Despite herself she found it incredibly hard to keep her eyes open. Satan seemed to notice. „No need to be sorry.“ Just like Lucifer he kissed her goodbye on her temple and left. Moments later, she had fallen asleep.

LSMCLSMCLSMCLSMCLSMCLSMCLSMC

He was not surprised to find his brother leaning against the wall next to her door. „You heard everything, then.“ It was not even a question. For a human it might have been impossible to hear them talking in a quiet voice through such a thick door, but for demons it would have taken some sort of magic to provide such privacy. „So what do we do now?“

**Author's Note:**

> I originally didn't want anything like this to happen, but it was the only thing that made sense to me after I finished my last work. The next part will (hopefully!) not be this dark, since I actually want my MC (and the demons) to have a happy ending.


End file.
